The Structure of the Earth!

12/14/2011

Hello again thankyou every one that gave me awesome advises on transform boundarys and divergent boundary and this time I'am doing it on the structure of the earth so please go through my structure of the earth pages and feel free to tell me what I have to work on thank you :)

4 Comments

Hermonie

12/14/2011 12:18:18 pm

for starters your the structure of earth page is a blog
CRUST
-take a look at this sentence "Scientist call the crust underneath because the crust is almost three times as thick as it is under the oceans" it does not make sense
MANTLE
-maybe have all your writing on top of the picture
-and look at this sentence it needs to be "30 km below the Oceanic Crust""It begins about 6 miles to 10 km below the oceanic crust and about 19 miles 30 km below the crust ."
-this sentence make zero sense "The function of the mantle is to separate the inner mantle and the outer mantle" no its not
-and here you need a space "1,800 miles2,900 km thick and"
-and make this sentence bigger "A mantle is the Largest most complex solid rock and has 1000c upper layer and 2500c lower and seperating the crust from the mantle is called the moho."
-also check for capitals
OUTER CORE
-maybe put the picture below the paragraph
-and check for spelling mistakes and spaces that need to be added
-and maybe add more info
INNER CORE
-again put the picture under the paragraph it will look better
-and more info is needed
-the inner core and outer core are not like this "Outercore and Innercore"
But otherwise good job

Winnie the Poo

12/14/2011 01:14:10 pm

Mickey awesome info perfect amount on almost evereything. I think you need to add a little more detail on the inner core though. other than that great job. :)

Joe Joltz

12/14/2011 01:24:29 pm

Crust:
- Start your beginning with "The" instead of starting with "Crust".
- Try to find a video. I recommend braingenie on Youtube.
- Around the middle of the info after the words "living on," you put a space before the period.
- Your information is very nicely organized and easy to understand.

Mantle:
- The mantle is under the core you wrote above the core.
- In the second sentence near the end I think you meant to write continental crust. Correct me if I'm wrong.
- It doesn't sound completely in your own words you may need to fix that.
- I like how you included the total volume of the mantle. I found that interesting.

Outer Core:
- The picture looks a little too cartoon like.
- on the first sentence you spelled miles wrong.
- You started the second sentence with "and," and you didn't space after that period.
- no space after the period at the end of the second sentence.
- The forth sentence should become a compound sentence with the third.
- I like how you said "super-heated liquid molten lava." That was very descriptive.

Inner Core:
- The words in the picture sort of blend with the background. Getting a new picture would be better.
- Inner core is two different words not just one.
- Your second sentence doesn't start with a capital and the space after the period at the beginning isn't there.
- You repeated the exact same thing in the exact same words.
- I like the picture but not how the words blend in.

Overall it's pretty good but you could fix a few things.
:)

Mary Poppins

12/15/2011 01:26:11 am

CRUST
- i think you should maybe put the sentences in your own words
- Also i think its looking great but you should maybe work on your grammar

MANTLE
- your sentences are a little short on info
otherwise its good

INNER CORE
-the inner core could use some more work like maybe put a video in the section and add some more info to it

OUTER CORE
-i noticed some spelling mistakes and one was miloes um also some more info would be good.

GREAT JOB

The Structure of the Earth!

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